Buts and Becauses

John Mayer once said "Color change for no reason, words go from poetry to prose...When I'm not myself"

I have always believed that the reason why things happen around me is because I'm who I am. Things would not be the same, if I'm someone else. Today's color of the rainbow would not be red orange yellow when I'm someone else. Because I know that the RED I see, is not a RED anyone else would see. Because the wind would blow differently, if I'm someone else. Because the stars would appear less,or more, if I'm someone else.

This week(which has just begun) is one which is not about myself.

When you are not allowed to be yourself, you see what they see. Not what you want to see.
I am tired and exhausted, but they say the carriage will not reach it's destination without a horse pulling on it's wheels. You never seem to love enough, nor be allowed to...

Because who you truly are, suppresses the real you.

A puzzle with 5 edges can never complete the picture when all it need is 3..or sometimes just 2.

And no, I'm not talking about masks and make-ups here. This is what you are destined to be. This is true change. Because if it's up to me, everyone should be an artist, painting pictures that nobody would seem to appreciate. Or a writer writing his life story for his spouse to read. But no, life has shaped you and has a place for you in the society..
That is true change.

Should I even get into the pieces beside you in the big puzzle? Picture this, you have 2 poky pieces and 3 rough-edged pieces beside you, of course you're not a perfect piece everyone is dying for... maybe I have certain sides of me that needs smoothing. But the someone else you are tells you that its all that you can find to fit in. The real you can't fulfill your destiny in that place. No way. No freaking way. But nobody dares to disturb the big picture, because isn't that what it's all about, the big picture...Ends justifies means. period.

God, if you're taking me through this change. You better know what you're doing.
If not somebody's gonna get hurt real bad...

Boo Hoo...no one's blogging anymore..

Dropped byKennySia ,a very short update..
Clicked on XiaXue ... also same, no updates one, always also video video video...
Cheeserland also like that...all single videos and pictures only one..and no new updates
The ever trusty JeffOoi too busy to blog already.. everyday fly here fly there
The MrBrown and MrMiyagi duo seems to be updating less and less
ST, Suan, Ky all kinda boring already...grow up la..still party everyday...
Rojaks still ok la..but now become Rojaks 3-days-1 post instead of Rojaks Daily..

Now my hope lies on Tun for daily updates.

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Today will meet vernzzz again.
Makan Makan..
Maybe go Riana Green..

Dunno Riana will have time or not.
Feel like going fishing la...
But so expensive..

Currently reading: The Rule Of Four..
Not bad la the writing but the story abit the duh..
300pages d still talk about first day only.
Sien abit la

feel like reading next : Susan Minot, Monkeys but cannot find in paylessbooks.com.my
Have to go buy in MPH...$$$!

OH OH OH!!! Evening by Susan Minot got made into a movie last year...
So proud to have my favorite author's work on the big screen and I can now tell everybody that I've read a lesser known book !

...although, the movie sucked.

свободен я...

Where the Spirit of the Lord is
There is freedom
Where the Spirit of the Lord is
There is freedom

There is peace, there is love
There is joy

It is for freedom He's set us free
It is for freedom He's set us free

I'm free! (I'm free! I'm free!)
I'm free! (I'm free! I'm free!)
I'm free! (I'm free! I'm free!)
I'm free

We will walk in Your freedom, walk in Your liberty
We will walk, Lord
We will walk in Your freedom, walk in Your liberty
We will dance in Your freedom, dance in Your liberty
We will dance, Lord
We will dance in Your freedom, dance in Your liberty
We will jump in Your freedom, jump in Your liberty
We will jump, Lord
We will jump in Your freedom, jump in Your liberty

So today sorta almost finish everything
Just left Russian, then can call it a year already...
Wasted my time studying immunology(not really la, but still...). The teacher just asked 1 2 questions then in the end also will lepas one...

Today I slept and did not care about the time(or set an alarm, for that matter)
It's been a very long while since last I did that

Fishing trip!(Kelah and Kelisa's....)
Can't wait to go back home actually...seeing Satish and Nina fly on Monday. I gatal gatal have to go sign myself up for Turkey...and now have to wait 3 more weeks only can go back. Nina said it right the other day, she can't take it anymore...

Ai~yai~yai~yai~yai...
what has this world become into...All for that little number 5..

"for what good is it to man, to gain the world, but to lose his own soul"

Jesus, you're right man...so right dude...

Ceh...That one is it?? Chedet.

I think this is one of the best "Hidup Melayu" articles I've read...
Written by our very own Dr M....

Saya realist yang pegang kepada kenyataan. Memang Melayu menjadi Tuan dalam Tanah Melayu dahulu.

Tetapi kerana Melayu tidak berusaha melawan penjajah maka di zaman Tanah Melayu dijajah yang jadi “Tuan” dan yang dipanggil “Tuan” oleh orang Melayu sendiri ialah penjajah terutama British.

Kita boleh panggil diri kita “Tuan” tetapi jika kita terpaksa bergantung kepada orang lain dan kita menjadi kuli kepada mereka, memanggil diri kita Tuan tidak bermakna.

Dalam 50 tahun kita merdeka, kuasa politik ada pada kita. Ini membolehkan kita panggil diri kita “Tuan”. Tetapi kita tidak Tuan sepenuhnya.

Kita boleh jadi Tuan dengan ertikata yang bermakna jika orang Melayu berkebolehan dan berjaya dalam bidang ekonomi dan sosial juga. Ini boleh dihasilkan jika kita sanggup tuntut ilmu dan segala kemahiran dizaman teknologi tinggi. Tetapi kita amat kurang berusaha kearah ini. Kita lebih suka cari jalan mudah. Biar sahaja orang bekal segala-galanya kepada kita.......[continue reading @ ... HERE]

you know which part I exactly like?...
Kita boleh panggil diri kita “Tuan” tetapi jika kita terpaksa bergantung kepada orang lain dan kita menjadi kuli kepada mereka, memanggil diri kita Tuan tidak bermakna

Call yourself Tuans all you want, but until you have something to hold you up(and not NEPs), not many people are going to acknowledge any Tuan.

There was a comment to this post, about the colonial times in Melaka, Melaka was "founded" by Parameswara in the year 1402 and the Kesultanan Melayu Melaka held Melaka for 1100years! That is an achievement according to my textbook. But did you know that the Portuguese only had their independence a few hundred years before they invaded the world? And that the Kesultanan Melayu Melaka chose to give the main businesses to the everyone else (eg: Chinese - tin mining) ...and what were the Melayu Melaka doing then? According to my text book, they were still farmers and growing rempahs to be sold to the spice-loving British, who in-turn took over their economy handling.

ANNIEEwayss...back to the article, while I enjoyed the content and really really enjoyed the content, after reading the comments, I felt that either the article spoke to me in a different way or the rest of the thousands of readers did not get the message right.

I felt that Dr M was sending a sublime message by telling the Maleyu Melaysia that GET YOUR LAZY BUTT OFF THE CHAIR AND START DOING SOME WORK...rather than we must get our Ketuanan back and we own the country and we must destroy all light and dark.

In other words, i think Dr M just wanted to let the Maleys understand that if you want them(Satish and I) to call you Tuan, show me some of your capabilities and tell me why are you better than we are. And don't show me the History book.

Politics...everywhere...

Dr M... you are a great writer and I love reading your blog...
juicy...

Special Thanks To Vince Galaxy

I half dedicate this post to Vince Galaxy's wireless server.
His ignorance/kindness/generosity enabled me to once again surf d internet. :)
people. DO not PUT PASSWORD FOR YOUR WIFI LA. SHARING MAN ! :)

Just to update you people on what I've been doing and what I've done.

I arrived on the 28th of June.
Pak Toh-ed on the 1st of July
Went to Perhentian on the 2nd til the 5th
Vomitted twice and had food poisoning and dengue scare on the 7th
did nothing much after that
Road tripped to Melaka and Seremban on the... someday ago.
....

Study?
Ha.
You joking rite?

missing all of you.
Dont have new pix to upload yet. but perhentian damn kao lot of pix.
and melaka also.

You are always on my mind.... :)

Terkorban untuk sebab2 yang tidak sepatutnya

Fri Jun 8, 12:31 PM
VANCOUVER (CBC) - An American man who lost a chance to get new lungs when a plane carrying transplant team members and the organs crashed earlier this week has received another set of lungs, doctors said Friday.

The 50-year-old from the Detroit area was in critical condition at a University of Michigan Health System hospital in Ann Arbor after a seven-hour surgery that ended on Thursday.

"We are relieved that we were able to do this transplant and give this man another chance for life," Dr. Jeffrey Punch, director of the division of transplantation at the University of Michigan, said in a statement.

"Our friends that died in the crash would have wanted us to go on with our work."

Calgary native Dr. Martinus Spoor, a cardiac surgeon who worked at the University of Michigan Health System, was one of four medical specialists and two pilots on board the Cessna Citation when it crashed into Lake Michigan on Monday.

The donor team was transporting organs from Milwaukee before the crash. A second set of donor organs became available late Tuesday.

"Had he not received a transplant in a timely fashion, he would have died likely," Dr. Andrew Chang, one of two doctors who led the surgical team, told a news conference Friday
.
The patient, who was a longtime smoker, had chronic obstructive pulmonary disorder that was causing right heart failure. He had been waiting for a double lung transplant since November.

The man's chest was open and his lungs were ready for removal when the plane crashed. The patient was told that he did not receive the first set of lungs, but Chang said he won't tell the man about the crash until he is ready to hear the news.

Also killed in crash were:
- Dr. Martinus Spoor, cardiac surgeon

- Dr. David Ashburn, who was training in pediatric cardiothoracic surgery.

- Richard Chenault, a transplant donation specialist with the university transplant program.

- Richard LaPensee, a transplant donation specialist with the university transplant program.

- Dennis Hoyes, a Marlin air pilot.

- Bill Serra, a Marlin air pilot.


In a statement, the patient's family said they were grateful the transplant happened, and "devastated and heartbroken" for the families of the six men.

With files from the Associated Press
(Colored Text By weeks87.blogspot.com)
Rest in peace.

News from the other side of the world...

THIS IS ALL WORDS AND MORE WORDS ONLY...

"If u got read newspaper today you will realised that lately got lotsa car hijack case. Those farkers would normally bang 9 the rear of your car and make it looks like an accident lidat then when u get down to inspect the damages they will then come and weck 9 you and hijack your car.

So, the next time someone whacked the rear of your car, dont stop and get down to take a look. Drive on to go nearest police station. Dont let those farkers overtake u! My sis were once chased by farkers lidis when she realised its a trap!

These farkers work in group of 4 in a car, they targetting expensip cars and women driver are their favourite victim. Yesh .. unfortunately they will be armed and dangerous .... so it pays to be aware of your enviroment and to look into your rear mirror frequently to see if there is any suspicious cars following you.

If there is really no choice ... give them your car! Its only a car and its probably insured right? Always remember these farkers only wanted your car and its not worth risking your life over a blardee car ok?! "

Above story taken from: http://rojaks.blogspot.com/ - my favourite blog !

______________________________________________________
Sounds familar? I'm sure you friendster and fwd email junkies out there read this sort of "warning to the community". It's ussualy the scene in the carpark with the bag or giving a hand to an old lady.

It's good that these messages raises the awareness of such things happening around the country. Most people(young people in this case) would just ignore news like that in the newspaper...too small a frame for big and interesting news. Just 1 thing that I am very *insert your choice of word after reading the post* , according to the portion of news above, we are supposed to drive and run away right after we are involved in a car accident. A lil' too extreme don't you think?

What happened to friendly people, friendly nation, Malaysia boleh? It's good(and neccesary) to take safety precautions but don't la until too much. Imagine the poor fella who'd just kissed your ass(of the car), he gets out of his car with an tank full of mixed emotions then you drive away.
Take precautions and if you are alone. BE SMART.

Another thing that "pisses me off" is that, people really take those "community messages" seriously. I don't mean to say that they are supposed to be just put off. Those messages serve a purpose to let the people know of such happenings.But don't la just drive off like that...Different situations call for a different respond ok?

Read this other example;

This is a real story. It happened to my sister's friend just the other day at the LDP! While she was driving, a blue Wira who was behind her knocked her rear bumper. She was furios but at the same time worried that she was at fault. Being a new driver, she did not know how to respond and she just drove off.

2 days later she brought the car to the mechanics as the bumper was slightly broken and to her suprise the mechanics found a mechanical device attached to the bumper! It was actually a homing device which is used to track her car down. The authorities have confirmed with her that it is a new technic for car-jackers to locate their target cars!

So beware, next time you see a blue Wira. Make sure you bang the fella first and then go down and see if he got put any homing device on your car. DOn't just stay in your car, you might not know if the device would actually explode or not. Please, Please especially lady drivers, don't stay in your car after an accident, be in the open where everybody can see you!

So what are you gonna do now?
By the way, the later story is of course fake.

Here are some other examples;
"Next time an old lady asks you for a hand to help her carry her things across the road, don't do it! She will take the opportunity to grab your hand bags!"
VS
"Next time an old lady asks you for a hand to help her carry her things across the road, MAKE SURE YOU DO IT! She might be an officer from the local ABC group which monitors the problems of the youth society.They are ussualy accompanied by the police and religous groups."

"Don't bring an umbrella when you don't need to. Studies have shown that people with umbrella are more likely to be struck by lightning and banged by busses"
VS
"Bring an umbrella to look for the blue WIRA and go beat the driver with it."

Have your own mind.
People are not that stupid, ok?

I didn't tell you I got exams meh!?!?!?

....oh i didn't ha...sorry la people...
-.-''''''''''''''''''''''"

It's been so long since i last posted a real entry.
Sorry yeah people.
Exams took it's toll on me.
I shouldn't even be online right now.
Zachut for Russian is in 30minutes time and I have not even bathed.

Muahahaha.

Anyways, to all having their exams.
All the best.
Break a leg.Or break the fucking teacher's leg.

!

I had a very mixed week.
Got a free avtomat just because my teacher had problems.
But got dragged another week by that old lady teacher.

In all things, Give Thanks. For this is God's will concerning your life.
savvy?

You know what?I'm coming back in 19days' time. You guys better be there to pick me up from the airport. Or else!(i'l be stuck there)

After a very very long time, I am actually feeling good, even when bad things are happening.
So happy to have people I love in my life.
Thats why I always say, stock up on friends, and burn them as fuel in the winter when you're cold :)

Livern dear, I got your sms yesterday. Was asleep when you sent it and thought it'd be better if i were to talk to you in person(through the magnificent invention of the internet and all it's appliances). You want a gift you say la. Don't malu2 :P

Ok people. Time to go.
Love you all.
Thanks for all the 700hits. :)

need to be MIA again...

Sorry people..was really really away...
I am back now. to tell you that I need to be away again...

Argh, why can't I be those super smart bloggers who can blog about their studies and the struggles in it. and not using the blogging time to study.

Heres a round of updates.

I went to Volgograd- a small town 16 hours away from Moscow by bus .
I cleared my private parts examurogenital system exam .
I have not been eating. correctly
I am not enjoying the weather.
I want more time ,free time
I ate 5 packets of chips while trying to feed my brain with Connective Tissues, Parasites and Brain.
That and 2 bars of chocolates.
And 2 packets of instant soup.
I am sick.
fOr rEaL duDe!

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Lish!
My everbubbly everterpelanting-ed~ everobsessed-with-b. evergreen(?) uncle buttocks...
you take care yah girl... :)

this hamster is just 16hours flight away, you can always drop by whenever you feel like it you know..

_____________________________________________________
WAN YIAN !!!!
OH MY GOLLY GOLLY ROLLY POLLY OLLY!
it has been like, 20 years since we last talked, let alone see each other.

For those who have no idea, wanyian was the 1 who asked me to talk to the handsome skating instructor back in Sunway Pyramid...Read the post here ..

How are you la my old fren?
_____________________________________________________
Ms. Wei :)
have been thinking of you alot :)
when are you coming back ?
to these arms?

The blog didn't die ! HAH !

You'd thought that that was the end of my new blog ?
IN YOUR FACE...

I'm still blogging..

I'l let you know about the WInter Camp in a few days time,when i shall get my pix loaded into flickr...

For now..let me tell you a lil something about what I think on these issues:
1)Yahoo takes over Flickr and forces user to sign in with Y! accounts
2)Say No To Adsense by Shaolin Tiger

Yahoo! forces users to sign in with Yahoo Accounts and NOT flickr accounts
If you don't already know... a handful(or alot...I don't know..but got lah...) of Pro users are protesting against the change Flickr are implementing on all their users. We all know that Yahoo bought over Flickr quite some time ago. Then a few weeks ago , out of the blue Y! said taht users will need a Yahoo account to sign in to Flickr...

EARTHQUAKE!!! TSUNAMI!!! SNOWSTORM!!!...

the whole Flickr forum exploded with protest, to the point that a discussion group was formed and they all threathened to leave Flickr if still gonna be like that.

I know that i am not really into this kinda thing and they affect me the very very least whenever something like this happens.

But.

Please.

Lah.

If you guys can afford(or have to interest) to go Pro in Flickr...I'm sure a Yahoo account isn't that bad right?

And i'm sure that some of them guys have at least 5 different Y! accounts ...since they are so Pro...

So what if you'l need to sign in using a Yahoo account?...

This is the internet.

Its all pseudo-reality...its an electrical screen with lights....

It wont affect your dignity by having 1 more/less account.

Yahoo is a big time multi-thing company...they have the mani that Flickr doesn't to "give rise" to new projects etc...I'l like to be able to see a preview of my blog in my Flickr page sometime soon...Don't you?Who knows ,maybe Pro account will be available for free in the future then some World Class (if you play fifa u'l understand) account will be launched...

oh..wait..

wait..

im sorry..

i din know u're a hippie...

so sorry ...

SAY NO TO ADSENSE

I was reading Shaolin Tiger a while ago when i came upon his entry about Adverts on Personal blogs...

Do know that I'm a big fan of ST ...

His entries are often light-hearted and funny and has the least to do with the politics(not even jokes about em.) or the latest trend etc...Paling banyak also movie reviews and item reviews...

I suppose that he is the 1 who launched this Say No To Adsense "thing"(i dunno wat to call it lah) 1 lah...Since I cant find any other page about this topic on the search engine.And i believe that he has his rights. To speak his mind ;) .

ST presented his arguments with great clarity and sometimes very convincing too. But i choose to disagree with most of what he'd said loh...

First we need to understand that Adsense, and other companies that resembles Adsense in its way of working, DOES NOT put up ads and pop ups without your concern and without paying you a nominal fee for the space especially if you own the domain, i.e. you PAID for the domain.

Lets say, my domain and hosting cost me US$300 a year (thats ALOT)...

I'm a student btw, so theres no way i can afford to take that kind of money out of my own pocket. So the popular solution is to get people to advertise on your blog, using a small space that you bought with the $300 , and they'll pay you for that.

Most people who are into reading blogs or blog-hop knows the trend of the internet pretty well we can assume...

We're never the 999,999,999th visitor on that page

nor did we just won free credits with a casino.

I won't click on an advert. without a purpose...simple as that.

So what I am really trying to say is...whats the whole point in protesting against something that is not there to harm you, but to give you money...All Out Protest sumore...

And if one doesn't like the distraction on the blog page, then one shouldn't have considered putting it there in the begining. Nonsense. I won't mind earning that sort of money if only i have a lil more initiative in looking up the info about Adsense....

I left my comment in his post. stating that I find it hypocritical of him to protest against something that he'd earned $500 from in 2 years...
RM2000 is not alot for work in 2 years..but what have you done to earn that RM2000? Put some codes in your front page? RM2000 to copy and paste codes on a computer.That would be a great part time job you know.

oh...so so so so soooooo sorry!!!!

i forgot again...

you guys are hippies...

sorry yeah....

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SFC POST AFTER I GET PIX !!