Normal

Everybody has their own level of normality. 

Like how today on the radio, the DJ read a small food for thought kinda thing, he said, "when faced with a dilemma, write down on 4 different pieces of paper, the consequence of any action towards: yourself, your family, your friends and your commitments(studies, work). He then continued to say, every different situation carries a different weight on all of these 4 things, no one solution that emphasizes on any a certain thing only, is perfect for every situation. Sometimes, sometimes, we choose which one we would rather protect... even though it might not be the right one..

Coming home for the 6th(?) time for 6 years is slowly changing my perception of normal. Like how I keep thinking that everything is so damned expensive, even though everything has always been this expensive, at least for the past 3 years. I still remember the old TV channels' channel number, how every Monday and Thursday is squash day, and every Saturday we play football in the morning, and cybercafe in the afternoon. That's basically the definition of home to me. My normal.

6 years is a long time... 6 years - the same amount of time to enter primary school, and graduate it into puberty, the amount of years which KLCC took to complete. 72 months, when a meal used to cost RM 2.20, and now RM 4.50. Maybe we were too trapped in the other reality and froze ourselves of this one. Maybe I'd hoped too hard that when I was not here, everything would stay the same, awaiting my return. Maybe I'd thought that I'd be able to go and come back in a rush, quick enough that nothing would've changed yet. To be honest, I didn't recognize my family when I first saw them..

Normality... or maybe 6 years of "there" has indented itself so deep into my being, that "here" has became "there". Vice versa. I find myself feeling awkward in the LRT where nobody says excuse me, or "Вы будете выходить?" . 4 seats are actually only 2 because everybody is to shy to sit beside somebody else. Even when the train is packed. I can't sleep at night, trying to breathe "my air", but realizing that my air is blocked by a 10-storey construction site.

Suddenly, I miss the smell of my good ol' 15 floor.